The Pioneers Club
The community podcast for driven entrepreneurs and leaders.
Here you can connect with like-minded people, create a sense of belonging, and gain practical insights you need to gain more mental & emotional agency and resilience for your daily life.
We, your host Monika (certified mental & systemic coach) and co-host Patrick (entrepreneur & broadcast production manager), will answer your most burning questions, talk with exclusive guests, and share their own stories & experiences on how to deal with & thrive through the trials & tribulations of entrepreneurship.
The Pioneers Club
Out with the Old: The Power of Letting Go Before the New Year
In this episode, we're diving into a powerful end-of-year ritual: letting go of what no longer serves you.
As the new year approaches, it’s easy to focus on adding more—more goals, more projects, more expectations. But real growth often starts with releasing what’s holding you back.
We’ll talk about why letting go is so hard, how to identify what’s weighing you down, and simple steps to make space for what truly matters. G
et ready to shed the old, embrace the new, and step into 2025 lighter and more focused than ever.
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Your Host:
Monika Lerch
https://www.monikalerch.com/
Linkedin: /in/monikalerch/
Instagram: @themonikalerch
Your Co-Host:
Patrick Öffl
https://www.amikifilms.com/
Linkedin: /in/patrickoeffl/
Instagram: @patrickoeffl
Monika [00:00:07] This is the Pioneers Club podcast.
Patrick [00:00:09] The community podcast for driven Entrepreneurs and leaders.
Monika [00:00:13] Here you can connect with like minded people, create a sense of belonging and gain more agency in your daily life. Hi, my name is Monika and I'm your host. I help impact driven freelancers, entrepreneurs and leaders live their full potential and go from feeling overwhelmed, stuck and confused to being confident, clear headed and focused as they go after their goals as a mindset and systemic coach. I focus primarily on topics such as confidence, high performance, self coaching and self leadership and use my mindfulness based and systemic approach to help my clients thrive with more ease.
Patrick [00:00:50] And I'm your co-host, Patrick, an entrepreneur just like you. I'm an international media producer working on live sports, premium documentaries and digital content. I help people bring their stories to life and work with a global network of partners to create engaging content. I live through the topics of our podcast, just like you and I will try to ask the questions you might have. Welcome back to our last episode of this year. The year has gone by so quick. We've talked about so many things and typically at the end of the year, we're trying to slow down a bit, trying to see what worked, what didn't work, what new habits did we take on? Did it work out with them? And if not, how can we improve on them in the next year? So when we look back now on everything that we've talked about and everything that we've done this year, it's very important to talk about when something didn't work out or something does not work for us anymore. How do we say goodbye to that? How do we let things go?
Monika [00:01:58] It's a beautiful season to reflect on exactly that. I, for example, take a certain time frame, whether it be two days, whether it be three days, whatever, at the end of every year in order to reflect exactly this. What has happened throughout the year, what have I achieved, what were my goals? What helped me achieve those goals? Which goals didn't I achieve? Like which things did I think would be important but then realized were actually not important? And so on. All the changes and developments that I grew with throughout the year and also the things that I realized were part of the journey, inviting new people in, getting to know new people, letting go of old people or old friendships and relationships, all of these things. It's a really good time to reflect on that and to use this time as an opportunity to make a clear cut where you are gracefully allowing new things in in the future. But before that, you have to let go of anything that is no longer helping you, serving you, or even standing in your way of something new.
Patrick [00:03:03] I mean, we talked about so many things this year. When we look back at the beginning of the year, we were talking about how we build new habits and that was great, but we didn't really talk about how to let old habits go. So maybe we can talk about that as well. We also talked about growing into new roles, the stories we tell about ourselves, and it's all those chapters that we had. They all have this very little subchapter actually that is letting other things go. It's basically like imagining a cup of tea and you're filling it up once it's full. Nothing else fits in there anymore. I think it's the same with our brains and our minds. Once it's full, once we're full with ideas, there's nothing new that that can fit in. So yeah, at at this time of year, it's the perfect time to just say, okay, I need to let a few things go so I can be better next year.
Monika [00:03:57] You just said it beautifully because with everything, with every kind of growth that we go through, there comes a certain part that we have to let go, that we have to shed, that we have to say goodbye to. And most of the time we're not talking about it too much. Or oftentimes we are just so focused on the new and we want to reach that and we stay positive and growth oriented and minded that we forget about the things that we need to leave behind. This can come then with a degree of self-sabotage or undefined feelings of sadness or confusion, because simply you haven't had this clear point where you knew exactly what you are saying goodbye to. You can imagine like it's as if you are traveling and you never say goodbye to the cities that you have already been in, but somehow trick yourself into thinking as if you are still in the old city but actually are already traveling to the new one. You need to let go of the old one. You are not there any longer and it's okay to say Wow, it was a beautiful time there. Or well I really didn't like it and thank you, I'm going to the next chapter. I'm going to the next city. This is exactly what we are doing. Also when we are setting new goals, when we are setting new visions for the new year. And this is why we also then decided to record this episode today in order to make space and to do this kind of cleansing work before then, allowing this new team into our cup.
Patrick [00:05:22] I have a question when we're talking about the power of letting go. It's very healthy to let things go. But when I think about letting old things go, saying goodbye to some things, I'm thinking about two different things. On the one hand, there's the habits, the things that I do, the actions that I perform, and not doing them anymore. And then there's also how to deal with… Last time we talked about feedback and criticism, how to handle this. This for me is a bit more internalized rather than the actions and habits that are externalized where I do something. Do you see a difference in how to let both of those things go? Is there a difference in those things?
Monika [00:06:05] Well, there is a difference in the dimension. Basically, you're talking not so much about external and internal, in my view, but more about behavioral. And the other one is more mental or emotional, for example, that if you have a belief or if you have a self perception, this might be more the mental and emotional part. But they are intricately linked. Because any belief that you have, which might be I have to listen to other people's criticism or taking things personally, for example, you would have called this internally, but it will reflect in your behavior, so it will instantly be linked to your what you just called externally, but what I call behavioral level. So they are… it’s like a cycle. And with anything where you say that you are letting go of a behavior of a habit, for example, you will have to look at the mental and emotional framework that is linked to that. And you will basically also say goodbye to that or you will have to… If you look at mental dimensions, for example, valuing your own opinion, if you listened to this last episode and you said, okay, you know what? I know that I can trust my own opinion. I'm ready to show up for myself in this way where I will claim and own my authority and I will not allow unsolicited or unqualified advice or feedback to deter me or to sway me. If you accept this new mindset, it will have influences on your behavior. You will make maybe more space and more time to listen to yourself and you will maybe even stop talking to that many people in order to get their opinion. So it will be reflected in your behavior. It's intricately linked. But this is actually a good point, which brings this also to why a lot of people are forgetting about the letting go. Because when we think about new behaviors or new habits that we want to build, we are instantly again thinking about the new one. We're not so much asking what needs to leave first, what we have to let go of in order to make space for the new habit.
Patrick [00:08:05] So it's we actually forget about that the cup is already full and that we need to make space in in the cup or in the wardrobe to get some new things in.
Monika [00:08:14] And that's where we then start to self-sabotage. Because then if you decide, for example, that you are no longer going to listen to other people's opinions that much, but you don't look at the mental and emotional background of that, which might be that you need the reassurance or that you need the appreciation. You will then self-sabotage in the way that you have not really let go of the emotional and mental patterns that are linked to the behavior. So you will probably feel yourself being pulled back to this pattern and this behavior. Instead of first letting go of everything intentionally and then using this new space in order to fill it with a new behavior which will be linked to a different mental and emotional state as well.
Patrick [00:08:59] When we say letting go is something healthy and that my life could actually look very different when I let people go. Relationships go, behaviors go. My actions could be different. Why is it so hard then to say, okay, I'm letting some things or someone go.
Monika [00:09:17] We are so not used to letting go intentionally. We have… Of course, this is something that in psychology we know as well. People have this aversion towards loss. We don't like to lose things that we already have, even if we don't use them, even if we don't need them. There is a certain sense of security, a certain satisfaction, whatever it is that is linked to keeping something around which you are already familiar with. This is also then linked to the things that when you let go of something, that something may have been part of your life and of your way of behaving, talking, looking at yourself for so long that you are just so familiar with it, even if it's not useful, it is comfortable because you at least know how to deal with it.
Patrick [00:10:04] I think that's the important thing about it. It's comfortable where used to change to a certain degree. But once we're in this situation and we're getting used to it and it feels okay, we're so comfortable with it that we're actually dealing with so much that we wouldn't deal with in another situation, maybe. But yeah, okay, we're in this now. It's comfortable. I don't want to do too much about it. We're getting a bit lazy actually, when it comes to that.
Monika [00:10:30] I'm not sure whether I would call it lazy or whether I would call it more predictable, insecure because the new thing is not completely defined yet. If you think about you changing a behavior or you changing a mindset, you will have to allow for a certain time of experimentation. This is what I tell my clients always, that there will be this time of experimenting and trying out first before you will then have the same sense of security and same sense of, you know, ownership. I know exactly what to do, how to talk, how to look at a situation with a new framework. You can't shift from one thing to the other thing instantly, or it takes a lot of preparation to do this very quickly. This is what I work on with a lot of clients before they finally let go of something. We prepare the new so they can shift more quickly. But if you're not used to that, you will have to have a certain transition time. You… in any case, you will have to have a certain transition time. And this is uncomfortable because it's new, it's awkward. It's you're not quite sure, am I doing things right? And no one will have the answer for you because people used to know you in the old framework as well. So they will also need time to adapt. It's a little bit messy.
Patrick [00:11:43] But it's also an identity question because it comes down to the person itself. Am I a person that feels comfortable with at least something that's new or am I more the person who needs that security? I mean, we all know that a certain kind of security and safety always feels great because you don't want to change all the time. But there are people out there who are willingly jumping into the unknown more often than others.
Monika [00:12:08] Some people find it more enjoyable, some people have more fun with it, some people are more curious. It's not so much only a personality characteristic. Maybe they have also the situation, the reassurance, the support network in order to be able to do that. If you are alone, if you are at risk, if you are in an already unstable situation, it is not that easy to just be carefree and change things up and try something new because you might actually risk important things. So it's not just about who is more likely to enjoy this, but also who is in what kind of situation, which allows you to live this joy and this curiosity in changing and in letting go.
Patrick [00:12:50] Do you also see that people are loyal to themselves as to the identity that they have when it comes to am I really jumping into something unknown or not?
Monika [00:13:00] This loyalty towards our younger selves, this loyalty towards our past experiences, our oftentimes also pain or our hopes and goals and and aspirations. This loyalty keeps us stuck with things for very long, even though sometimes we already know that this is not… no longer right for us. You have to to bring this loyalty to the surface and look at it very intentionally and go through specific steps also in order to appreciate and acknowledge this loyalty, but still make space for the new. Because if you're not making space for the new, this old version of yourself will keep kind of poking you and wanting you to be aware of it and to acknowledge it again and you will struggle against yourself. So this makes letting go way more difficult, of course. But there are ways to deal with that. This is not… it's just something that is oftentimes not very obvious. It's hidden beneath 2 to 3 layers. And if you bring it to the surface, it's very clear and you can deal with it. But it's good to be mindful of that.
Patrick [00:14:00] One thing we also have to talk about, you just mentioned it. Sometimes it's not really clear why we're holding on to things. I mean, we don't even know ourselves why we're holding on to things. Where could that come from?
Monika [00:14:12] Well, most of the time we don't actually take the time in order to reflect in a systematic and intentional way. So we really clarify first what we are letting go of, why we are letting go of this, which kind of benefits we got by having this pattern, this behavior, this relationship also. Anything that we are still sticking to had a certain benefit. We already talked about this when we talked about self-sabotage. So unless you clarify this benefit, you won't be able to know what you are actually letting go of. And whether there is something that still is to be learned from that. But oftentimes we are also so emotionally and mentally involved in something and we have many stories, experiences, memories tied to this, this one thing, you know, whether this be a relationship, whether this be a belief about ourselves or a habit, a behavior, whatever we are thinking about letting go. There is so much that comes into this and we are personally involved so much that it is like a ball of wool and we don't see exactly how everything, how every string is tied to it, to each other and we can't really unravel it. This is a feeling that many of my clients describe when, when they come to me at the beginning, it feels like this ball of wool and they don't know how to unravel it. So this is a part of a complication that you will maybe have to face when you say that you want to let go of something. You need to take this time - and this is again why this is such a great time when things are slowing down a little bit - to take this moment of reflection and to go through this in a systematic way, to arrive at the end of knowing clearly what you are ready to let go of. Having this kind of statement is important because otherwise, you know, you will always come back to it at some point.
Patrick [00:16:01] We also have to acknowledge that change and in that term, change means letting go and moving on or growing even. It is hard. It takes courage. It takes time. And when you do it, you have to also acknowledge the fact that things might fall apart. And with things I mean, relationships might fall apart. You might lose some friends, you might lose some people that you've been so accustomed to dealing with. Maybe in your business context or in your personal life. Some friends may it be a romantic relationship. It all comes down to the same thing. You have to let things go at some point and it will be hard.
Monika [00:16:40] Whenever you are growing, there is a certain stage where you will feel that old things, things of the past no longer fit are no longer aligned. And it's okay then also to see that the that your environment will react to this and your environment will, will maybe be able to grow with this and go with it or not. And the willingness then also to let go of things that are in your environment and to appreciate them for what they have been in the past. But to say now they are no longer part of my future journey. This is also an intentional stage of letting go.
Patrick [00:17:15] Well, because we're used to it. We're used to having the same people around and we don't want things to change. We want to stay the same. We want our surroundings to stay the same because the people that we grew up with or the people that have been with us on our journey for the last few years or whatever, it's easier to have them around. And if you grow then and if they grow in a different way, it doesn't even mean that they're growing or not growing or growing. I don't know that you can say that, but there is no such thing there, just growing in a different way than you do, and you just don't fit anymore. And that's what you have to acknowledge, that at one point you fit perfectly. And then in another point in time, you grew to your best version or better version. And so did they maybe. And that doesn't fit anymore.
Monika [00:18:02] Yeah, that's a very difficult point to acknowledge and accept for a lot of people. Also, because it's not just about acknowledging that maybe you grew in different directions or that you grew and they are very comfortable with where they were at and they don't want to change maybe even. It's okay for them to be where they are happy. This also comes with a certain realization at some points, which I see in people that they think when they are so excited about something and when something has proven useful to them or helpful and they have grown in a certain way, they want to take other people on the same journey because they think, Wow, it was so powerful for me. I want to share this with the other person. I want to give them the same growth and opportunity as I had.
Patrick [00:18:45] But sometimes you just can't.
Monika [00:18:46] You can't. And maybe it's just not the right thing for them. And having this moment of realization, Wait a second, what was… what is right and powerful for me is actually going to be the thing because of which I will have to say goodbye to certain people or certain environments. This is a feeling of real grief and loss and it's okay to feel that and it's okay to appreciate that and still decide to look at the situation, to look at the things that you are letting go of with a certain understanding and mindfulness, but keep growing and keep being true to yourself. This is also something where we are coming back to the point of loyalties. A lot of people are so loyal to their environments, to their circle of friends, to their families, whatever, that they will let these things keep them from growing and actually implementing the changes. So these are then the moments where you know that you should do things differently, but you somehow still can't bring yourself to do things differently. You will have to look at these kinds of situation as the loyalties that are beautiful and noble, but maybe practiced in a different way because you can be loyal to your friends, you can be loyal to your family and still value your own growth. There is not it's not an either or situation, but as long as we feel that it is, it's going to be a little bit more complicated to let go of things.
Patrick [00:20:07] Let's talk about how to let go now. I mean, there is a certain way of doing it, and we've talked about it before we went on this podcast. There are certain steps you can take that help you to let go of certain things.
Monika [00:20:21] So there are basically three steps that you can take in order to very intentionally let go of something old and make space for something new. And the first one is, as always, to take some time and reflect. Question yourself and reflect on what no longer serves you. You can ask questions like, What are you ready to let go of this year? What are you ready to stop doing? What are the things that you will no longer invite into your life? What is feeling heavy, stagnant and frustrating…?
Patrick [00:20:52] It's like you're taking stock of whatever happened this year and you just don't want to take that with you over to the next year.
Monika [00:20:59] Yeah, that's very… that's that's why this time is such a beautiful point of time to have this kind of reflection, because you can use this. Of course you can do this any time during the year, but this is such a powerful time in order to make this intentional shift. This belongs into the past and I decide what will belong into my future. And so once you start reflecting on this, you can also look at is something bringing me joy? Is this fulfilling me? And therefore, is it going to be part of my future journey or not?
Patrick [00:21:30] It can be quite purifying, actually, when you look at it, when you look at habits, when you look at people. And there were some things during the year and you always felt like it doesn't really feel 100% right. There's some heaviness to it, you know? I feel that something is dragging a bit and it's perfect now, at the end of the year, when you say, okay, maybe it's time to change that dynamic. Let's look into it. Maybe we can change that together. Or if not, okay, it's not bringing me that joy. I don't have that ease anymore doing that or being with that person. So maybe it's time to move on.
Monika [00:22:03] Yes, but it can also be it's it doesn't have to be only people or situations. You can also let go of expectations. You can take stock of every kind of expectation and goal that you had set for yourself and look at what kind of mindset you had setting these expectations and these goals and look at whether this is serving you or not. Has it put you under so much stress and pressure that you were actually limiting yourself and holding yourself back because you were basically acting from a position of fear and pressure and panic more than from a position of empowerment and confidence and authenticity. So these are also things that you can let go of. You can also let go of things where you will have to forgive yourself for failures, mistakes. You can say thank you. I learned from that. And I'm ready to let go of whatever kind of self-doubt or resentment I felt towards myself because of this situation. All of these things are part that it's good to take stock of and intentionally let go of before you then are making space for something new and going into the new year.
Patrick [00:23:09] So I have space for something new now. I've reflected on it. What’s step number two?
Monika [00:23:14] Well, you don't have space for something new yet because you haven't really let go of quite yet. But this is the very important step that a lot of people miss when they think about letting go of something. They say also, oftentimes, I don't want to feel this way anymore or I no longer want to do this or that. The very important second step is to ask yourself, Great, what is going to be there instead of this fear, instead of this friendship, instead of this self-belief, instead of whatever you are letting go of? Because for us, we can’t really work with negative space. Our mind, our body, our behavior. We will fill this with something. And if we don't have a new model that we want to fill this with, we will come back to the old thing. Because it's just… here we come back to why it's difficult to let go of. Maybe sometimes you have not put into place something new, a vision of something new. So you will just fall back into old patterns. And this is why the second step - before you can really let go of something - is so powerful and so important to ask yourself what is going to be there instead? And you can actually ask yourself, sometimes you will know, sometimes you will have a clear answer, but sometimes you will have to find this out. You will have to do a little bit of investigation. And there is a beautiful question, the miracle question that I teach my clients. You can ask yourself if you are working from a space of something there being a problem or you wanting something new. You can just ask yourself and imagine that you go to bed tonight, that you have fallen asleep and while you're sleeping, a miracle happens and this miracle gets rid of the old, solves the old problem, whatever it is that you want to let go of and suddenly solves the situation beautifully to make space for the new thing. And the new thing is here. But you don't know that because you have been sleeping. And you haven't noticed that a miracle has happened. So the next morning, when you wake up, what do you notice? What has changed? And then this is the mental exercise to go through the next day, the following week, whatever it is, and reflect on what has changed once the miracle has happened. And this will help you oftentimes then come to new conclusions about what will be there instead once you have let go of the old thing and therefore clarifying what you actually want to be there in your life. And this brings us then instantly to step three, and this is to take action. It's beautiful to think about all this. But then you actually have to let go. And this is then the final step. There you have to take an action of release. Sometimes it can be very useful to do a ritual, to have something like a practice where you will feel yourself physically and go through the motions of letting go of something. But it can also be very practical, decluttering things, delegating things, communicating new boundaries, communicating new rules with other people, coming up with a specific action plan, and then scheduling this action plan. All of this is already part of letting go of the old thing. And I would urge you to do this with a sense of excitement and curiosity about allowing the new thing to take up more space and gracefully letting go of the old thing.
Patrick [00:26:25] It kind of takes us back a little bit to the very first episode that we had this year. It's about creating new habits where you have this sort of action plan for yourself and also have this accountability where you tell other people that you're doing something new, that you want to invite something new, and they will help you with the accountability that you are actually trying to do it, that you have to stick with it. So we're basically back to where we started this year saying, okay, we reflected on it, we've reviewed it and now we're doing something new. And that's the start of the next year then.
Monika [00:26:58] That rounds up the year then. And with that, you are ready to start into something new, building on everything that you have learned, grown through, experienced in this past year. Ideally, you would start into the new Year with this exact feeling.
Patrick [00:27:13] So one last time. What are our key takeaways from this episode?
Monika [00:27:18] If you take only three things with you from this, apart from the practical steps, the challenges that you are going to face in letting go, whatever, it's this. First, simply the notion that in order to let something new in, you also have to decide what you are going to let go of. That's it. And acknowledge that this is not a bad thing, that this is not something that you will have to beat yourself (up) for, that you have done something wrong. No, that's just the nature of things. The second thing is to just take the time and use this opportunity of the new year, this transition to reflect on the things that you have held onto that are weighing you down, that are no longer useful, that you simply do not want to take with you into the new Year and commit to making this change. Commit to letting it go and think through the steps that you will have to take in order to let go of this and what you will want to have there instead. And the third thing is also then to recognize that this will take a certain degree of courage. And that's not a small degree. Because you will likely, as we have already talked about in several episodes, you will come up against a little bit of resistance probably. You will come up against resistance from yourself. May this be because of the loyalty you have towards old things, maybe because you will feel like this is a weakness that you need to let go of certain goals or things that you have clung to for so long. Or you will also have the resistance from outside because people will simply find it difficult maybe to see you changing and transforming and them now being challenged to find a new way of dealing with you as well. But don't forget that this is a beautiful and necessary part of growth. And if you embrace it and see it as an empowering choice instead of a necessity, you will be empowered to do this with a very clear, confident and joyful mindset as well, because you will be able to appreciate what was and instead now make space for something new. And that's actually what we want to achieve for the new Year, right?
Patrick [00:29:21] Be open with yourself. Acknowledge the fact that it's hard. Change always is. But be patient with yourself. Give yourself the time. You can always fail. Just get up. Try it again. And that's basically the most important part. Just give yourself time and be honest with yourself.
Monika [00:29:39] And pat yourself on the back as well, because a lot of people are avoiding these kinds of topics and and this kind of confrontation with themselves or with the situations because this can be uncomfortable, challenging, but also therein lies this power. So pat yourself on the back and just a little disclaimer. If you are feeling unsure or a little bit scared or frightened to let go of certain things because you don't yet know exactly what will be there. Don't worry, because we have already prepared the first episode of the new Year and this is exactly that. How to welcome in the new thing, how to build the systems and strategies that you need and the mindset that you need in order to make… to use the space that you have now made. So don't worry. We are going to go into detail with this.
Patrick [00:30:27] And with this we're going to say thank you for a great year and merry Christmas, right?
Monika [00:30:33] Merry Christmas. Enjoy this time. Take some time for yourself and we will see you in the new Year. And if you're ready to dive deeper into mastering your mindset and building this mental strength, this self trust and confidence, don't miss out on my monthly free mindset Mentoring Session. Sign up for my newsletter to stay updated and receive your personal invitation. And let's continue this journey together.
Patrick [00:30:58] If you enjoyed this episode, share it with your fellow entrepreneurs so they can listen too. Grab the link in our show notes and send it to them.
Monika [00:31:05] If you're looking to join our tribe of movers and shakers to get a sense of belonging and fresh insights, join our Pioneers Club community. The link to our community is waiting for you in our show notes as well.
Patrick [00:31:16] And don't forget to connect with us on LinkedIn or Instagram and let us know what was a helpful thought or insight that you gained from this episode.
Monika [00:31:24] Have any questions or ideas for us? Head over to our LinkedIn or Instagram pages and tell us. We read every submission and would love to answer your question in a later episode too. So thanks for joining us.
Patrick [00:31:35] See you in the next one.