The Pioneers Club

Trust Your Gut: Reclaiming Your Authenticity in a World of Noise

• Monika Lerch & Patrick Öffl

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In this episode, we dive into one of the most critical yet often overlooked aspects of leadership and entrepreneurship: trusting your own inner wisdom. 

We’ll explore why it’s essential to stop letting others define your truth, how to cultivate the self-awareness needed to truly hear your inner voice, and practical ways to apply this wisdom in your business and life. 

You'll learn: 

1:17 -  Whose voice are you really listening to?

4:56 - How to tune out the noise and tune in to you

10:16 - Why self-trust is your greatest life & business skill

16:02 - How to build and strengthen self-trust

23:46 - How to pause, reflect, and reclaim your decisions


It's time to break free from external expectations and opinions. Reconnect with your own gut and learn the power of your own intuition.

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Your Host:
Monika Lerch
https://www.monikalerch.com/
Linkedin: /in/monikalerch/
Instagram: @themonikalerch

Your Co-Host:
Patrick Öffl
https://www.amikifilms.com/
Linkedin: /in/patrickoeffl/
Instagram: @patrickoeffl

Monika [00:00:07] This is the Pioneers Club podcast. 


Patrick [00:00:09] The community podcast for driven Entrepreneurs and leaders. 


Monika [00:00:13] Here you can connect with like minded people, create a sense of belonging and gain more agency in your daily life. Hi, my name is Monika and I'm your host. I help impact driven freelancers, entrepreneurs and leaders live their full potential and go from feeling overwhelmed, stuck and confused to being confident, clear headed and focused as they go after their goals as a mindset and systemic coach. I focus primarily on topics such as confidence, high performance, self coaching and self leadership and use my mindfulness based and systemic approach to help my clients thrive with more ease. 


Patrick [00:00:50] And I'm your co-host, Patrick, an entrepreneur just like you. I'm an international media producer working on live sports, premium documentaries and digital content. I help people bring their stories to life and work with a global network of partners to create engaging content. I live through the topics of our podcast, just like you and I will try to ask the questions you might have. 


Monika [00:01:17] Okay, let's start directly with a question. Right. Have you ever questioned your own judgment simply because someone else's opinion got in your head? Have you ever found yourself like, questioning second guessing what you thought, felt, thought about a situation, your decisions, because you were then suddenly going back to what other people had talked about or what people had described feeling in a similar situation. And you then thought about maybe I'm wrong, maybe I should feel this way, maybe I should think this way. 


Patrick [00:01:50] I think we all know that feeling. To a certain degree. I mean, we all have those voices in our head telling ourselves, okay, you should do this. You shouldn't do that. If you do this, people might think that of you. And we all have that. It's sort of like an angel and devil sitting on your shoulder. And depending on the situation, they're telling you what to do or what not to do. And it's quite a tricky situation to not listen to those voices. 


Monika [00:02:17] Now that you said it's like this angel and devil sitting on your shoulder. I actually imagine not only like these parts of yourself, but also this devil and angel of being social parts within yourself, like things that you have learned from culture, socialized. And now you're thinking, should I feel this way? Because how are others thinking about this? Or should I feel this way? Instead of trusting your own judgment, instead of first listening to yourself and first going to your own perceptions. And then, of course, you have to think about society and other opinions and other options of how to feel as well. But oftentimes we start by looking to how other people think that we should feel, think, behave instead of doing the first step and listening to ourselves. 


Patrick [00:03:07] I mean, we have this really cool example right now. There's this Netflix show. Nobody wants this, and it feels so natural because it's actually a show about adult people. Both of them have a career and they want to do healthy choices now in their life. They want to listen to their own feelings. And how are they navigating this new relationship that they're in. And it's quite interesting to see that the side characters in this show, they're sort of like this angel and devil and the internalized voices, because they're just chipping away all the time and they're telling these characters, You should do this, you should do that. Or does he mean that? Does she mean that? And it's sort of a visual representation of those voices. So it's quite interesting to see this on screen, but it's also quite interesting how they are fighting and struggling to listen to themselves. It's actually the representation of what's going on inside ourselves. How do we listen to ourselves? 


Monika [00:04:05] Well, what's going on inside ourselves, but also what is really happening, Because people oftentimes are not hesitating to tell you how you should do things or how you should feel in a certain situation. And also with social media and constantly having these different inputs of other people's opinions. There is barely a break that we have where we could actually listen to ourselves and quiet down the noise and just recognize what part of this inner monologue is actually our perception and our thoughts and what part is actually not ours. What part is just like you just said, internalized and other people's opinion and perceptions and not just that. And then people chime in and then they start telling you also exactly what they think. So it's difficult to quiet down all of this. 


Patrick [00:04:56] I think that's already the major point that we have to talk about. It's that distraction from outside. It's all of that noise, as you call it. It's the social media. It's the other people. They're constantly talking. They're constantly letting you know how they feel, what they were doing in a situation. And it feels like sometimes they're trying to make you feel the same thing. So in a sense, they're basically muting your inner voice when it comes to those situations. So it's quite hard actually when you have those distractions. But you can also not just mute those distractions at all. I mean, you you're constantly surrounded by them. So let's talk about how are we dealing with those outside noises coming in? 


Monika [00:05:40] Well, that's the thing. Most of us now, we are talking about it as if you can already differentiate between these noises coming in from outside and your inner thoughts and and your authentic feelings. This is because this is what we are talking about, how to actually trust and know that something is authentic and something is truly aligned with you and what you need and your vision and your values. And it's not that easy to differentiate between it if you are not used to taking a step back and quieting down your own thoughts and voices and then other people's as well. And it is difficult. Mostly because oftentimes it also is a great resource. Other people's opinions, other people's examples, they can be a great resource of validation, of reassurance, of strength, of support, but also of, you know, when we talk about getting resourceful and looking for how other people have dealt with a similar situation in order to gather inspiration, it can also be a great tool in order to get creative with things. But then it's also about knowing are you really now in this resourceful state where you are already empowered enough that you are authentic and truly self-aware and aligned with what you need and your vision and your values, so much so that you can differentiate between what you are taking intentionally from outside and welcoming in into your considerations. Or are you motivated by something else? Because then it becomes a distraction. Are you motivated by relieving the feeling in the fastest way possible because you just want the quick fix? You want to know how you should feel. And then once somebody has told you, yeah, you should feel this way or you should respond this way to a certain situation, then you feel as if you are on the right path. Then, you know, quote unquote what you have to do so you feel calmer or you are pleasing other people, or you are afraid that you are not good enough and that you can trust yourself. So this is where it becomes really difficult then to stop all of the chatter that is going on and recognize why am I actually looking to outside opinions and why am I allowing them in? 


Patrick [00:07:52] What I find interesting about those outside opinions is actually something that I've experienced just a few days ago when I met a few friends and we were talking about the economic situations and getting new projects, finding work, and we were talking about how hard it is right now to get back into that rhythm, get projects aligned, or for some other friends actually finding a job as an employed person. The more you talk about it, the more they open up in there saying, Yeah, it's so great that you're saying that because I feel the same way. I have this problem, this and that, and then suddenly they're going, It feels so good you saying that because now I feel more at ease with this, what's going on? And it's like, okay, as soon as someone else is saying it, my own feelings get validated and it's okay for me to feel it. But what if that other person is not saying that? Is it not good for me to feel that? Am I even allowed to feel it then? It's just something that we're not used to. We're not used to trusting ourselves. 


Monika [00:08:52] That's it. That's the problem where when you go into these situations and you feel the support, you feel the reassurance, and you take from it what you need, that's beautiful. But if you start distrusting yourself and if you start doubting yourself and what you truly know is right for you simply because other people react differently, then it can grow into a conflict. And if you are used to listening to other people's opinions and valuing them more than your own, this can spiral into you getting distracted, getting torn into investing your time and energy and thoughts into things that are simply not right for you because you know actually what is right for you. If you allow yourself to develop this self-awareness and develop the trust in yourself, and then you will also go after things that maybe I mean, we have heard this story before, and I know for myself, it's also true. I have been down this path where you listen to other people, where you take on their advices, where you go into things, also feeling great about things because you think, yes, this is actually true, right. And everyone is telling me to do that. And after one year or two years, you get to this point where you you're feeling like I did everything right. Why do I feel this shitty? Why do I feel as if I have just wasted my time and feel depleted and actually like I am completely alone? 


Patrick [00:10:16] You're losing yourself a bit. And that's the main problem with it. It's the distraction. The noise gets so loud that you don't hear your own voice anymore and then you end up in that situation that you just describe. You're completely lost and you have no idea how to get back. 


Monika [00:10:32] Which is also bad. Now, thinking about when we talk about the role of being an entrepreneur or looking to pursue a vision of creating something new when you are a leader, this is the worst place to be in because suddenly you can't trust your own judgment anymore. This means that you don't know how to make decisions. You don't know how to assess the situation. Other people are going to look to you too, in order to know whether they should interact with you, how they should interact with you, whether this is an opportunity for them. You have to convince them as well in some situations. Pitch your offers, your value, whatever it is. And if you can't trust yourself, if you don't know what to do in order to step up in an authentic way and make things. That are aligned with your values, but also with your vision. How should other people trust you? It will feel more and more corrosive. 


Patrick [00:11:25] But where do you see the biggest upside when you have that gut feeling? Just imagine for a second now that we're trusting ourselves, we have found our way back and we will talk about how to find that way there. But let's just imagine for a second now that we already have that. What is the major upside, especially in business and for entrepreneurs? When you have that gut feeling. 


Monika [00:11:47] I can honestly tell you, because I see this with my clients all the time. Once you start trusting yourself again, and once you are so aware of yourself and your needs and your perceptions and you know how to trust them, then everything changes. Your whole game changes basically. Because then suddenly you know how to interpret different things that are happening. You know how to quickly react and respond to situations. You know why you are deciding on Path A and not path B, And you can stick to this choice even if certain obstacles come up, you are more motivated. You are more effective also. And you are also more creative because you will be not distracted that much. You will be more focused and clear in what you are doing. And this also, then all of that will raise your confidence. Suddenly you will know exactly why you're doing this. You will be able to rely on yourself. You will be able also to assess your capabilities and your strengths in the right way because you will someday know why you are doing things. You will assess your strengths, you will assess your capabilities, and then you will be clear on which capabilities truly are already developed enough. Which ones you can rely on. And you will be able to be honest with yourself also. I know. Wait a second here. I lack a certain skill set or experience and then you will be able to look out to other people and go into dialog with other people's opinions, experiences as well. Without this affecting you in a way that it will leave you feeling lacking or insecure or doubtful of yourself. So the whole dynamic, the whole quality of what you are doing will change. 


Patrick [00:13:27] It's also a little bit easier when someone is trying to tell you that you are lacking something as you just set and you have that confidence that you can say, No, I'm not, because I trust myself in what I'm doing. And let's just assume for a moment that there is someone out there trying to sell you something which never happens, Never happens, never in a million times. But let's just assume there is. And then you can confidently say, I'm good things and you don't have that fear that you're missing out on something and you're trying to push your business into all those different directions because all those different people out there are trying to tell you that you're lacking this, you're missing this, you have to do that. It's way more comfortable to do it because in the end, that could also cost you a ton of money. 


Monika [00:14:20] And lots of time the amount of time that you will waste on following other people's advice because they don't simply even think about what is truly right for you right now. And they can also because how could they do? They don't have the insights into your vision. They don't have the insights into your strategy, into your needs, into your values. It's not their job actually to know what is right for you. It's your job, it's your responsibility. But the amount of time that you will waste if you trust other people's opinions more than your own. It can take you years, actually, to wake up from this running around cycle where you are just following one advice, then the next advice. Then you will feel torn in all directions and before you know it, you will rather let go of your vision and let go of your ideas instead of pursuing them, because it will simply become so exhausting and expensive that you will question whether this is actually worth it and whether you will actually be able to make progress. Because oftentimes what I see is people don't make real progress. You know, they can't really reach this point where they see that they are building something, but they are just as if you imagine building a house, they're working on one corner, then they are running across the field and then they are doing something in the garden, then in a running back, then they are doing something in different and they never see anything, you know, coming together. This is very dangerous. Which is why I say like, this is a competence in the skill set. And again, many people think that this is something that you either have or like the self trust or the self awareness is something that you are born with, but it's not. It's a process and it's a skill set that you have to practice and develop. And even once you have developed it, you have to continue practicing it. 


Patrick [00:16:02] So it's a little bit like a muscle that you have to train. And we just talked about most importantly, time and money saved in business context. But we also have to talk about how do we get to that point. I mean, we've been talking a lot about self-awareness, intuition, gut feeling, whatever you want to call it. But if we're lacking this, if we don't even have an idea of how this feels like what is my gut feeling trying to tell me if I'm in a situation? How do I get to that point where I can train that muscle to actually listen to it again? 


Monika [00:16:37] I think many people imagine it as something where they should already know and feel and have this strong sense of where they belong. If you start out at this point where you acknowledge that you don't really know, which is already a great step, to be honest here, this first step of acknowledging that you don't know is such a powerful step, because then once you accept this and acknowledge that you are open to questioning, seeing, perceiving things in a non-judgmental way, if you truly accept this. 


Patrick [00:17:10] But what if I think I have it, but it's not as strong as I want it to be? 


Monika [00:17:14] Well, if you think that you have a certain degree of self-awareness and self trust, but you would like to strengthen it, then it's more about expanding it instead of learning and getting to know it. If you already have it, then it's about strengthening it in the way where you look at where do you already feel that you trust yourself? Where do you already feel self-aware enough and how do you feel this? How do you recognize this? What are you doing in order to feel this way? And then to strengthen and go more about doing the things that already work and then looking for things that would help you do more of that, you know? So, for example, if you feel like you lack self trust in certain situations or you are not self-aware enough in certain dynamics and this is why you don't feel like you can then show up authentically and own your position. I would simply ask you, Well, where do you feel that you can own your position? Where do you feel that you are clear on and have an authentic and truly aligned position in your feelings, thoughts, behavior, whatever it is? And if you tell me this example, then we would analyze and look at what helped you come to this position. How did you develop this feeling, this thought, this belief? How do you know that this is truly yours? What is happening? Also, sometimes it's a very physical thing. You know what is happening in your body so that you recognize this as your own opinion and as your own thoughts and the right decision. You know, oftentimes people say that this feels right or that this decision is right. So questioning what does make this right? How do you know this? And then test it out in other situations where you don't quite have the sentence yet, test it out and look for how do I feel about different choices and where does it feel a little bit more, right? You know. 


Patrick [00:19:01] What tools would you give someone to strength? And I mean, it's all sounds very interesting now to say, okay, you have to listen to yourself a bit more. You have to be in tune with yourself to find that self-awareness and that intuition. But what if I'm completely new to this? What if I really want to go out there now and want to either if I'm completely new to it or just want to strengthen it? What kind of exercises could I do to find my way back to myself a bit more? 


Monika [00:19:29] Well, I was at this point when I was younger. I know exactly when I woke up to this moment and I was like, Wait a second, I need to change something. But I don't know quite yet what to change and how to change. And anything that I would now kind of visualize or envision for myself would probably again be something that I have seen from somewhere else that I am now suggesting to myself, but I'm not quite sure is this truly my vision? Is this truly my need, or is this something that I have seen somewhere else again? And the first step? Yes, I sound a little bit like a broken record already, but it is because it's so powerful is to practice mindfulness and to start observing your thoughts and your feelings and without judgment, take note of them. So you can do this daily. You can practice meditation, self reflection, you can even journal. The next step then would be to identify patterns again and to recognize how do you feel? How do you think? How do you know that something is right for you, that something is aligned? The goal then, of course, is to become so conscious of your thoughts, of your values and of your vision that it becomes easier and easier and you will get faster. Also, in doing these little check ins, for me, for example, it can be something of seconds where I just check in with myself and recognize I feel this way because this appealed to my value of X, Y, Z. And then when you know how things feel when they are truly aligned and authentic, you will recognize way better when things don't feel truly aligned, when they feel hyped, when they feel fake, when they feel, you know, if you are just putting on a robe that is not actually your size. 


Patrick [00:21:14] But once I have that, where do I go from there? 


Monika [00:21:17] Well, then you have like a great toolbox and you have like. This inner compass that will guide you in any situation. So whether you are in a situation where you already know what you want and what is right for you, or whether you find yourself in a situation or in a moment where you are just finding out about a new opportunity or about a new option of seeing things in a certain way, you will have this what I call in a compass that will just signal to you whether something is right, whether you maybe even just need a little bit of time to assess it as well. Because we also have this idea that we should be able to see everything and be able to decide on everything in this moment, which is not true. Sometimes you need to take a step back and just let things sink in and suddenly things will make sense. Things will fall into place and you will see things in a very clear way. 


Patrick [00:22:07] You also need to check in with yourself. How do I feel about something? How does this make me feel? Do I maybe even change my opinion about something on where I stand on something that's totally normal? And I really get what you're saying because it's so hard, especially in business right now. People are across from you and they're expecting that answer right now. Commit to something or not. It's a yes or no thing. And we've seen that everywhere. And then suddenly it's like, I'm in this situation and I have to decide. Now it's not really practical. And like you, I would advise against it. Take a step back, take a deep breath and check in. What does this do with me and where do I stand on this? 


Monika [00:22:47] I actually adopted this habit of doing this. Whenever I am in a conversation with someone and someone proposes something, even if it feels really powerful and even if it feels truly right. I know that for me I need this moment of distance because I get easily excited. I get so immersed in the vision of someone else that I sometimes lose touch with my own vision. This moment of stepping back and just calming down makes it so much more powerful, because then afterwards I truly feel this alignment. I truly feel whether this is empowering for both of us, whether this is a win win situation or whether this is a situation where I would lose myself again in someone else's vision and ideas. So for me, this has become a habit, but it can feel rebellious, it can feel adverse, or even to say, No, I'm not going to allow you to put me under pressure. I'm not going to say yes or no. I'm going to say maybe for now. 


Patrick [00:23:46] It's quite interesting that you're calling it like this revolution that's going on when in fact, you're just taking a step back to embracing yourself again. It's basically coming a little bit full circle to what we're talking about right now. It's you are taking that that step back to saying, okay, where am I in all of this? 


Monika [00:24:06] Yes, but let's be honest, Not everyone wants you to be truly connected and aligned with yourself. People want you sometimes to follow their agenda and do things the way that they think that you should do things. So you taking a step back in order to check in with yourself is an act of rebellion sometimes. And second, people are not used to it sometimes as well, because maybe they haven't checked in with themselves as well for ages sometime. People are so used to things going as quickly as possible and if you are already in front of them, why can't you just say yes or no? You should know. This is also, again where I see that people feel a lot of pressure and doubt themselves again without their self trust and their authenticity simply because they think that they should be able to say yes or no and feel whether this is right or not. 


Patrick [00:24:58] Instantly, I mean, I'm not doubting that there are people out there who are so in touch with themselves that they can make those decisions on the go and on the spot. I'm sure they're out there, but it's not for everyone. And you should find out which kind of person that you are. And if it's right for you to take that step back, then do it. And if in that situation it feels right. I mean, let's be honest here. We will all make those decisions on the spot and some of them will be great and some of them won't. And in the end, we just have to, in the best case, reflect on that and find out what kind of person that we are. Can we do those decisions? 


Monika [00:25:36] Definitely. This is a huge point as well to not put yourself under too much pressure again and try to get it right in every situation at any point, because all of these situations also where you do decide something, where you think that it feels right, and then you suddenly learn something new about yourself, because this is a journey of growth. Also, you will recognize things about certain facets of how you work with someone or what you need or your priorities, and it will change how you see the situation. So next time you will know better and you can't skip those learning situations. So instead of beating yourself up or thinking about this in a black and white way where you say either I am aligned and. To get in touch with myself, so I should get every decision right or I am simply not able to trust myself because I am not self aware and I can't do anything. This is more like getting to know yourself, changing, getting to know yourself again, growing with yourself and having fun with it. Which is why it's also important to experiment with all of this in relatively small and non-significant situations. If you're truly new to this, you'll truly see once you start embracing your own perception, once you start feeling this self-awareness, this self trust and intuition, something magical happens. And this is not me saying this. I know that my clients describe it as magical. You start to feel so much more satisfied and grounded and confident in your decisions and you know that you don't have to second guess yourself, but that you are truly authentic and therefore can rely on what you have just said, what you just felt, and you will know how to deal with this. You will know how to take each little next step, even if you don't see the whole path anymore, it becomes so much more enjoyable and fun. 


Patrick [00:27:31] I mean, in the end, no one really knows you better than yourself, right? 


Monika [00:27:36] You are the expert of your life, so have fun exploring that. And if you're ready to dive deeper into mastering your mindset and building this mental strength, this self trust and confidence, don't miss out on my monthly free mindset Mentoring Session. Sign up for our newsletter to stay updated and receive your personal invitation. And let's continue this journey together. 


Patrick [00:27:57] If you enjoyed this episode, share it with your fellow entrepreneurs so they can listen to Grab the link in our show notes and send it to them. 


Monika [00:28:04] If you're looking to join our tribe of movers and shakers to get a sense of belonging and fresh insights, join our Pioneers Club community. The link to our community is waiting for you in our show notes as well. 


Patrick [00:28:15] And don't forget to connect with us on LinkedIn or Instagram and let us know what was a helpful thought or insight that you gained from this episode. 


Monika [00:28:23] Have any questions or ideas for us? Head over to our LinkedIn or Instagram pages and tell us. We read every submission and would love to answer your question in a later episode too. So thanks for joining us. 


Patrick [00:28:34] See you in the next one.