The Pioneers Club

The Power of Knowing Your Purpose: Inside Simon Sinek’s “Start With Why”

• Monika Lerch & Patrick Öffl • Season 2 • Episode 4

Share episode

Get ready to dive deep into the power of knowing your Why as we discuss Simon Sinek’s revolutionary book, “Start with Why”. 

Together, we’ll uncover how your Why drives your decisions, how it influences your path & motivation, but also how it affects how you communicate and attract the right people to surround yourself with. We talk about why your Why matters and what to be aware of if you want to gain clarity on your own Why.

You’ll learn:

1:16 - This week's focus: Simon Sinek's "Start With Why"

2:36 - Introduction to the book

8:08 - The 3 main areas that your Why impacts

8:49 - Category 1: How your Why affects your decision-making

14:42 - Category 2: How your Why influences your motivation

18:42 - Category 3: The role of your Why in your communication & tribe

20:41 - The difficulty in finding your Why

29:12 - Explore your Why in a free Breakthrough Session


If you’re ready to ditch the confusion and tap into the power of your Why with confidence, join us for our conversation. It’s time to unleash your full potential.

Want more empowering tips & insights? Then join my FREE Monthly Mindset Mentoring and subscribe to my newsletter to get weekly mindset tips on how to gain confidence, clarity, resilience & ease - directly in your inbox.
https://www.monikalerch.com/newsletter/

Also, let us know, Which question would you want us to address in the next episode? Connect with us in our DMs or send us your question directly: https://www.monikalerch.com/send-your-question/

Your Host:
Monika Lerch
https://www.monikalerch.com/
Linkedin: /in/monikalerch/
Instagram: @themonikalerch

Your Co-Host:
Patrick Öffl
https://www.amikifilms.com/
Linkedin: /in/patrickoeffl/
Instagram: @patrickoeffl

Monika This is the Pioneers Club podcast. 

Patrick The community podcast for driven entrepreneurs and leaders. 

Monika Here you can connect with like minded people, create a sense of belonging and gain more agency in your daily life. Hi, my name is Monika and I'm your host. I help impact driven freelancers, entrepreneurs and leaders live their full potential and go from feeling overwhelmed, stuck and confused to being confident, clear-headed and focussed as they go after their goals. As a mindset and systemic coach, I focus primarily on topics such as confidence, high performance, self coaching and self leadership and use my mindfulness based and systemic approach to help my clients thrive with more ease.

Patrick And I'm your co-host, Patrick, an entrepreneur just like you. I'm an international media producer working on live sports, premium documentaries and digital content. I help people bring their stories to life and work with a global network of partners to create engaging content. I live through the topics of our podcast, just like you, and I will try to ask the questions you might have. 

Welcome back to bookcast number two. We're talking about another book this week. And it's “Start with Way” by Simon Sinek. And it's important to talk about finding your Why, defining your way. Because as we talked about it in our last episode, when we define success on our own terms, it's a key element to find out how success will look like for yourself. 


Monika Yes. Last time we talked a lot about what our authentic definition of success really is and how important it is to take the time to actually investigate a little bit more about what you see yourself striving towards, how you see it fulfilled and especially why this is important to you. And there we are already then, in the topic of discussing your Why, which is deeply based in your values, in your core values. And this is what Simon Sinek really did well with this book that he allowed us in our day and age again to have a very broad discussion with a lot of different people about what it means to lead with your Why. 


Patrick When we talk about Start with Why, when we talk about the book, we have to talk about that it's not a book that I would read to get ahead, to get a breakdown, a sheet basically, a guide, telling me how to find it. 


Monika No, because you have to look at really in which context this book is thriving or in which context it was based. And this is the communication and business context. So the whole book is a business book. 


Patrick So it's not a self-help book. 


Monika No, it's not one of the personal development books or psychology books that you would usually find in this section. However, it did kind of lead the conversation in this direction, which I think was one huge contribution of the book, that it allowed us to have these kinds of terminologies and these kinds of discussions again, with all kinds of people who may not usually think too much about psychology or be interested in reading psychology books.


Patrick Then let's dive into the book. Let's talk about what is the Why.


Monika As Simon Sinek presents, the whole concept in a certain form, I would like to start with the Golden Circle, which is how we communicate, but also how we make decisions, what motivates us - based on three levels. 

The first level is why we do something or why we feel drawn to something. This is the level of us authentically being rooted in our values and our core motivation. 

Then around that circle is a bigger circle, which is the how. So how are we fulfilling this? Why? How are we acting on this? Why? And making it actually manifest and realize itself in practical terms? And then only comes the third circle, which is about the what. Which steps, what kind of activities, what kind of end products do you make in order to then also again fulfill your Why through your How starting from the inside out? 

But usually what he said or what he argues, also already at the beginning of the book, is that people think and act in terms of outside in. So we usually when we talk with other people, we ask them, what do you do? And then people start describing what they do. And maybe sometimes they even arrive at the How in which they describe how they approach the situation or what they do in order to achieve that What? But very rarely do we talk with someone about their Why. Very rarely do we also lead with the Why when we introduce ourselves to others, or when we talk with others about ourselves in a broader context. So this is his main argument at the beginning of the book as well, and also the Ted talk that he had, with which he became very famous and reached a lot of people, was this discussion to turn that around. 


Patrick Sticking with the Golden Circle. And as you said, the whole book basically deals with a topic that's not new. The Why was around or has been around for quite a while. He just termed this Why now and this whole Golden Circle thing to make it more accessible, I think, to a wider audience, a younger generation even. But we also have to talk about, as you said, it's rooted in a business context, in a communication context and in communication - we also talked about it in one of our last episodes - authenticity comes along with communication. So when I think about the Golden Circle and I start with Why and then go outwards, all of these different elements have to align with each other, so I will be seen as an authentic person, authentic communicator, and I can authentically tell people what I do. Even though it's the most outer shell, I still need all of these three elements to align. 


Monika It leads us a little bit back to our discussion from our last episode, where we talked about the importance of knowing the real roots of your success definition and the qualities that you try to describe with a certain symbol that you use as a simplified explanation of your goal or your success definition. But being deeply rooted in the knowledge of what is actually driving you at the core. 

This is very important not only in communication, but also in how you act in order to create what we in psychology also call congruence. So this is the state of being balanced in your inner perception, in your inner experience of something with what you do and how you behave and what you say then to the outer world. So having this kind of harmony between everything that you do and everything that you say and everything how you perceive it as well, and what you think about it and how it triggers you as well. As Simon Sinek describes as well, in our communication, if we lead in this authentic way, it has an effect on how people respond. 

And now from a business context, this is very important because of course, as a business it is important for us to have an impact. But also on a personal level, this book does have a lot of messages and a lot of ideas that we can apply to ourselves as an individual. And as I see it, there are three categories which Simon Sinek - throughout the book - describes in which the Why makes a difference and in which leading with your Why will have a huge impact. And this is 1) decision making, 2) motivation and 3) communication, of course, and what I would like to call finding your tribe. The term tribe is something that Seth Godin actually wrote a book on as well, but I find that in the book, Simon Sinek really talks a lot about how your Why will attract the right people and in this way create the formation of your tribe. 


Patrick Then let's dive into the first one, decision making actually. Because this is also something - and we talked about it already - I wasn't even aware how much the Why influences how you make decisions in a business context. When I think back to when I had to make decisions regarding my business, I didn't really know that it was called a Why, but I always made decisions, Simon Sinek calls it “gut decisions”, and we know that they're always better. I always did that. I never knew that it's actually related to my Why. But looking back now, everything I did, every decision that I made, every job that I took, every project that I did, it aligns with my Why. I didn't know it back then what it was, and it took me a long time to figure it out. But now I know that every decision that I make now, when a client comes up to me and says, would you be able to do this project, do you want to do this project. Now I know that me saying yes or me saying no is deeply rooted in why I'm doing things. 


Monika This is the huge benefit of having a clearly defined Why that you can actually then already in the process of making decisions, as you have just described, you don't only understand afterwards how your Why influenced this decision, but you can use your Why as a filter, as a guide, in order to decide whether and how this decision is going to be aligned with your Why, or whether it's not going to be aligned, and therefore whether it is something that you should maybe decline. Or shift, change in some way in order to make it aligned to your Why. 


Patrick It's also important when you think about being especially a freelancer, and you always have this pressure of performing, of making money to make means end, and then you're confronted with, I have to do this project because I have to make money. But on the other hand, is it aligning with my values? And yes, it's always a bit of a stressful situation trying to align these two. And to be completely honest, they will not always 100%. There will be some times when it's not 100%, maybe just 95%, 90% somewhere up there. But to be fair, I would never do something that's just aligning 10% because it's not working out, and long term it wouldn't work out. I've been there. I've done projects that don't align or maybe just align 5 to 10%, like I said. Those are projects I did only once and will not go back. 


Monika That's interesting that you could even add a number to that. I think that's very helpful also. You could use this as a tool, kind of make a scale for yourself. And whenever you are approached by someone…


Patrick Well, if you think about it, actually when clients come to you and they ask you for something, then in this conversation there would be things in there that you know, okay, I can do that. I can live with that. I can not live with that. That's something I'm on the fence about. But yeah, it could work out. I wouldn't be able to put a number to every client asking me about a project. I would actually be able to say, this is something that's 100% and that's close to or that's not aligning at all. 


Monika I think that's very interesting. Also, the way that you talk about this, because you seem to have a very clear understanding of your Why and your mission, obviously even before knowing that this is your Why or before having defined it as that which I find is sometimes not that easy also, because sometimes your Why is not the only value or the only thing that drives you in a setting. So you could also have, of course, your Why being the mission that you want to fulfill as a freelancer, with your business or as an entrepreneur with your business. But you have certain other values which might be in conflict with that in a certain situation. And then to know how to deal with these conflicts in values and how to prioritize the values. Or, what I also tell my clients all the time, how to actually frame yourself or control the frame and the setting in which you work, in order to allow you to stay more aligned and more in harmony with your Why, but also with other values that you might have. This is something that needs a little bit more of a strategic approach, and this is something that is very, very difficult to just spontaneously come up with. 

So a lot of coaching work actually goes into preparing for such situations and making decisions in a way that they would allow you to stay aligned with your Why, while also fulfilling maybe other values which might be in conflict. Just like you said, as a freelancer, if you set yourself up to be completely dependent upon every single project, choosing based on your Why may seem like a luxury at times, because you will just need to make means end. And thinking about this beforehand, so thinking about what are the projects?… For example, I did this. I have to do this as a coach. I had to think about which kinds of clients I want to work with, which kinds of clients I will not work with, and because this is a deeply personal work, I was very intentional about never wanting to be cornered to have to work with certain people that are not aligned. So I framed my setting in a way where it allowed me, throughout everything that I do, to stay aligned with this Why and with all the other values that I have and the other values being that I earn money and that I stay financially secure. 


Patrick Let's move on to the second point, which is motivation. How does my Why influence my motivation?


Monika Well, motivation is a question that we all have. As entrepreneurs, as freelancers, as leaders, we constantly need to motivate ourselves, and the Why is a huge source of motivation, even in times when it's not that easy. Even in times when things don't just flow that well. 

It brings me back to what we talked a little bit about in our last episode as well. We addressed Viktor Frankl, who said those who have a why to live can bear with almost any how. And in my perception, Sinek builds upon that in that he also describes the Why as a source of constantly putting whatever you do in a bigger picture. And he gives this beautiful metaphor of building a cathedral and seeing yourself just doing the hard work of building a wall. If you just look at the hard work everyday of building a wall and you don't see it in the bigger picture, it is very likely that day by day it will get harder or it may be getting more frustrating because you just don't see where it leads you to. Instead, compared to that, if you take the point of view where you are building the same, the very same wall, but you are constantly thinking, no, I'm not building a wall, I am building a wall that is part of a cathedral. So I am building a cathedral. 


Patrick It goes a bit back to what I said in our last episode, when we were talking about success and how we define success, and you often don't see how successful you are while you are actually doing the work, while you're in this daily business and you're caught up in it. And then just when looking back, you see a bigger picture of why it worked. Yes, that was in looking back. But, best case scenario, you already know your Why and you know how it fits into that, so you don't need to look back all the time. 


Monika Actually, it brings us back also to our discussion about habits, about taking small steps and about being okay with appreciating the small steps that in themselves may seem insignificant and are not motivating in themselves. But because we see them as part of something bigger, we understand how they build towards something and then they become motivating because we just understand that they are going to lead us on this path forward. 

And this is where a lot of people also then don't do the real work of defining the Why and defining this bigger picture, but try to manipulate themselves. And this is what, this is what Simon Sinek calls manipulation. If you try to get yourself to do something with short term wins or promises, or make a little deal with yourself, and you reward yourself for taking this little step, instead of really integrating it in this bigger picture. 

And from a motivation standpoint, we know if you start something or if you do something with intrinsic motivation, so you feel this internal drive to follow a certain path, to do something, and someone from outside gives you an extrinsic reward for that. So be it like, great, you worked out, here is your toffee. In the long run, it will actually destroy your intrinsic motivation because you will start looking only to the extrinsic rewards. You will forget about your Why. You will forget about the initial thing that drove you to a certain wish. And then what happens? Once these deals fall off, then you will have lost all your motivation, the source of your motivation actually. This is why your Why is this strong, long-term source of motivation that you can continuously tap into and use as a connecting tool for everything that you do. 


Patrick And then there's also something else where the Why is quite helpful. And that's one big part of the book, which is actually communication. And that's the third point. It's when you know your Why, you communicate differently. And it also goes a bit back to the motivation that we just talked about. You can feel it that when someone is secure in their Why, secure in their communication about their Why, you start to motivate other people because you completely change the way you communicate. 


Monika This is what a lot of people describe when they say that someone is charismatic, or that someone is inviting them to take part in a movement. We know that we as humans are very motivated to feel part of something. We want to belong. We want to connect with others. Isolation is one of the worst punishments that we can even get. 

So having this motivating and driving factor that connects us then also and that also, as Simon Sinek describes, attracts other people just like this tribe formation that we already pointed towards - this is a huge benefit of the Why. And this is also why he says, as companies, we should learn and we should lead with the Why because this is on a human level what connects us to each other as well. 

This is, even if I don't understand exactly what you do. If you tell me, and I know that your why, for example, is to share meaningful stories. Even if I don't understand how to produce a documentary, I can share in this joy of meaningful stories that build up others, or that kind of create a deeper understanding of something. And this is something that along of different cultures, along with different areas, we can always find a common denominator to talk about. 


Patrick And now that you already talked about it, that how my Why influences how I make decisions, how I stay motivated, how I communicate. We need to talk about something very important from the book, because there's something in there that caught our eye. 


Monika I think I know exactly what you mean. 


Patrick There is a sentence in there, and I'm going to read it now because I, I really need to get this out there because we need to talk about it. Simon Sinek writes, “Gaining clarity of Why, ironically, is not the hard part. It is the discipline to trust one's gut, to stay true to one's purpose, cause or beliefs, remaining completely in balance and authentic. That's the most difficult part.”Yes, I know, I can already hear you. We don't agree with that at all. 


Monika Well, I think it is easy for some people. There are some people who are blessed, who have this very clear knowledge of their purpose or their passion from a very early age on. So I know that a lot of artists describe this, that they have just known from when they were four years old that they wanted to entertain others, they wanted to perform on stage. So it was just clear. But in general, I would say that the Why is definitely not that easy to define. It's not that clear, especially not from the get-go. And a lot of people struggle to define their purpose. 

Even Frank talks about the difficulty of defining your Why and defining the meaning that you are trying to fulfill in your life. That's a very, very difficult thing to do. And not only that, it is also growing and developing with the experiences that you have in life, with the transitions that you as a person go through. It becomes clearer. It takes on a different form. And if you have defined it in a very strict way from the get go, because you feel like you should have your Why, or you should be very clear, you run a risk of going against yourself and limiting itself again. 


Patrick Well, I know that. I mean, I can speak from experience because I read the book. I remember I read it back in 2017. I started thinking about my own journey, And I started to think of when I started in the industry, for instance, did I know my Why? Did I know why did I start going into media? Why did I want to do that? And the more I thought about it, the more I realized, I had no idea back then. It's just something that, as you said, it was within me. I always knew that I wanted to do that. I also was one of those people that very early on knew what I wanted to do, but it wasn't really clear how to get there. What then to do even in media, it was always just something that was fascinating, and I always knew that I wanted to do that, but that was basically it. 

And then later, of course, when I read the book and I started to think about it, it was more like, okay, maybe it's this, maybe it's this. And the more I started to think about all these different choices that I made, all these different jobs that I took. I took some parts out of those points in life, basically. And then I started to think about what it does for me, actually. What does it tell me about myself? And only then I slowly - repeat, slowly - figured out what my Why was because it's not something that just pops up. And even after finishing the book and having all this terminology that Simon Sinek gave us, you're not there. 


Monika That's it. It's not that easy to find out if you think about it rationally and try to just define it with a formula or knowing the Golden Circle. A lot of people I know felt the pressure to be able to know their Why, but not only know the Why in order to act accordingly, but also in order to be able to then sell it. And in order to be then able to phrase it in a way which will instantly be appealing and attractive and whatever is necessary to make other people convinced of your Why. And let's not forget also that in following your curiosity, in following the things that fascinate you, you will then find a pattern, but only if you take the time in order to grow in this way, and then you will find afterwards, ah, wait a second! There is a common denominator in everything that I do here. There is a common denominator in everything that I still want to do that I haven't done. But it only becomes visible on a long succession of single things. 

I know for me as well - and it's very funny, a lot of people have started talking to me in a specific way, telling me in the last 4 to 5 months, they have started to tell me that it is so obvious that I am exactly where I need to be or that I have found exactly the right, the sweet spot between my strengths and what I offer to the world. Which is very funny for me because for me, for the longest time it was not clear at all. And now it seems like it was, yeah, natural. Of course you did it in this way. But it's only in hindsight that I could actually kind of connect the dots now. And now I even understand the beginning point where my Why actually was a very clear decision, my Why being to make at least one person shine every day. But this is a very… like, this is the Why that drives me. But this is… What does this mean? How do you make decisions based on something like this? This was a childish, back then, I was eight when I had this very clear decision. I had to undergo 20 years of growth and development and experimenting in order to then understand what this actually means for me in the how level or dimension. 


Patrick Yeah. So I basically think that the book is a very good starting point. It's giving you the first run for the money basically. It gives you your first thoughts. You read it and then you start thinking about, okay, what does this mean for me? And it's the starting point of a journey, of a process of discovering what it is. Even if you already think you know your Why, I think it's still a good book to read, to have certain stories in there. And then if you know your Why and you think, okay, that's me, then great. Then you've just solidified everything. But if you're not sure, it's it's not the book where you definitely find out what your Why is, but it will start you on that journey. 


Monika I think the book was a huge contribution to us having these kinds of conversations as inspired, but also very natural conversations in a setting which usually, I know, back when I studied economics, no one was talking about their Why, no one was talking about their motivation. This was a very rational and logical field that people thought where people thought like emotions and personal ambitions had no space. Or personal values! Ambitions, yes, but personal values, ideologies, visions were something for the dreamers and the innovators maybe, but not so much for every person who was actually contributing to economy. And so this book allowed us to have these conversations. 

And also it has a lot of interesting reminders how easy it is to lose touch with your Why if you, for example, measure the wrong things or how important it is to check in with the Why all the time, again and again, as you make every single decision and to lead with it. So I think it is a very, very useful book. If you are interested in going deeper, if you're interested in really finding out how to find your Why, because as we said, it's not that easy, you will then probably need to dig deeper. 


Monika And just a little reminder, if you find it difficult to define success on your terms or define your Why, what motivates you? Which qualities, which values you have to feel fulfilled to be truly happy, satisfied and successful as you go and achieve your goals. Then let's hop on a call. I have a free breakthrough session for you, in which we can spend 30 minutes talking about your vision, your goals, and what you might need in order to truly achieve happiness and fulfillment as you reach those goals. 


Patrick If you enjoyed this episode, share it with your fellow entrepreneurs so they can listen too. Grab the link in our show notes and send it to them. 


Monika If you're looking to join our tribe of movers and shakers to get a sense of belonging and fresh insights, join our Pioneers Club community. The link to our community is waiting for you in our show notes as well. 


Patrick And don't forget to connect with us on LinkedIn or Instagram and let us know, what was a helpful thought or insight that you gained from this episode. 


Monika Have any questions or ideas for us? Head over to our LinkedIn or Instagram pages and tell us. We read every submission and would love to answer your questions in a later episode too. So thanks for joining us. 


Patrick See you in the next one.